My Father (based on the story of Marichel Verganio)

"Whenever I would come home every Saturday from my boarding house, I would find my father looking out the terrace, ready to open the gate for me. Most of the time, however, his efforts went unnoticed."

They said I was favorite because I looked like him. But I was never close to him. Whenever he was around, I hardly noticed him. Once every year, he come home to stay for only a week or two. It didn't matter to me hen.

My father is a seaman. A choice not of his own. My mother would always tell us that she forced my father "to sail away" because she longed for abundant life and security. My father wanted a simple life. To my mother, however, a simple life held no secure future for us children. Consequently, we grew up without him.

Talking About Him

• Once I was still in grade school, our teacher ask us to write a short essay about our fathers - describe them, tell about our fondest moments with them, and what they mean to us. I could not right anything. I hardly knew the feeling of having a father at home. I had not experienced the thrill of a father playing with us or the intimacy that could develop in a father-child relationship.
• Whenever he was miles away from us, my mother would always remind us to write him. As your girls, my older sister and I never had genuine interest in writing him. My mother would tell us that our father's situation was miserable, that he was tremendously lonely in the midst of the seas, and that our letters would bring immeasurable joy to him. I never thought he was lonely out there. The pictures he regularly sent us, taken in historic places and beautiful spots, showed him smiling widely. He seems to be very happy.
• My letters to my father were never intimate. It would usually begin with a formal "How are you? I hope you are fine like us." And it would always end up reminding him about the walking dolls and chocolates he would bring when he came home. I never told him what am I doing at school, the name of my new playmate, or how I had bruises when my older sister made me ride in a bicycle - they would not interest them at all. That was what I thought then.

Living with Him

• An accident while at work triggered to decide to quit from his work for eight years. He finally came home to stay. His presence at hoe is not significantly felt. That was what I believed. Being naturaly silent person, he would not talk so much. He'd sit in a corner and read paper and fix something with his tools.
• I never tried reaching out to him because he was not that significant to me. That was before I knew his sacrifices, his pain, his sorrows.

Hearing Him

• Once when my father became drunk after an occasional drink session, I heard him tell his friends the loneliness he felt while at sea; the almost flavorless frozen food; the emotional torture of missing his family especially the little kids he left aty home, the family that he could see at pictures, the family he really never wanted to leave behind; the joy of a single letter from home brought him; the inexpressive pain upon recieving the news that his youngest chikd - an only son - had passed away. I heard all those grievances directly from his mouth, but I never took them to heart. Those just bubbles from drunken lips, I thought.
• Still, I continue aloof to my father. His forced absence of eight years seemed to have built a permanent wall between us.

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Date Your Mate

"Take turns asking each other out on a date.
the one who asks has to make all the plans for the evening such as choosing the restaurant, making the reservations, or arranging for babysitting."


Do you want to prevent marriage burnout?
Date Your Mate!

Here are some creative for an inexpensive, yet meaningful, date activities.

• Kidnap your partner for a mini-vacation - an afternoon or evening of something he/she has been wanting to do.

• Drive through a new housing development and tour a model home.

• Check out new furniture in a furniture store. (It doesn't cause anything to look.)

• Take a stroll to a park. Try out the swings and see who can swing the highest.

• Take a tour of yesteryear - cuddle in bed; sip a hot drink; or spend an hour going through the family albums together, reminiscing about fun times shared in the past.

• Take a late evening walk. Talk about what's on your hearts.

• Go exploring - any place your mate would like to go (within reason) - to a mountain hideaway or a ghost town you've heard about. Check out a quaint shop on a side street.

• Buy a couple bottles of bubble-blowing liquid. Go to the top of the tallest place around - a building, a mountain, a tower or at the house's roof. Blow bubbles and watch them drift out of the sight.

• Go to the nearest pond or lakes to feed the ducks while you watch them dive and fight for lunch.

• Try a hot-tub date. If you don't have a hot tub, use a friend's. Let the hot, bubbling water soak away your stress. Talk about something fun.

• Dress up in your best clothes, and then go to eat - at McDonald's! Your formal attire in an informal palce will be fun. Play footsie with each other under the table.

• Create a treasure hunt for your mate. Begin with a note directing him to a specific drawer in the kitchen, where he'll find another note telling him to go to the car, where there will be a bouquet of flowers with a not saying that he must drive to a certain spot for further instructions. At the end of the trail (you can make it as long as you like), be there with a picnic on the beach or a reservation at a favortite restaurant.

• While one of you is at a board meeting and the other driving the kids into a music lessons, rendezvous someplace and share a bag of M & M's.

• Take turns asking asking each other out on a date. The one who asks has to make all the plans for the evening, choosing the restaurant, making the reservations, arranging the babysitting, etc.

• Be adventurous. Climb a mountain together, go surfing, or travel to a foreign country.

• Take a night class together - cooking, photography, landscaping, a foreign language, or craft. This provides something new to talk.

• Meet for lunch one day a week. This gives you both something to look forward to breaks the monotony of the week.

• Plan an afternoon biking in a favorite neighborhood, in the country, or in an interesting area. Over a picnic lunch, share ideas for building your dream home. Take memory pictures.

• If you have a sick child or lack a sitter, plan a date in your bedroom or in a cozy bath converted into a luxury spa for two. Light the candles, play your favorite romantic musics and read love letters you wrote for each other long time ago. Add a cup of tea and homemade cookies, and you've got an interesting evening.

• Make list of six activities you would like to do with your mate. At least once a month take turns picking one activity from your partner's list and joining in with gusto. Whether it's a horseback riding, scuba diving, or in-like skating, participate graciously just as you would if you are dating and not married.

Ouch!! (caring and treating the wounds)

"In general, it's better to cover fresh cut than leave it exposed."

While helping to prepare dinner, your dutiful husband accidentally cuts his hands. He insists it's minor. You think it may need stitches.

When do you need to see a doctor for a cut or a bad scrape? Let common sense and these tips be your guide:

Treating Minor Cuts
- most minor cuts and scrapes don't require a trip to a doctor. They usually heal on their own.

To Treat Minor Cuts and Scrapes:
1.) Stop the bleeding - most minor cuts stops bleeding from their own. If yours doesn't, apply gentle pressure with a clean cloth.
2.) Keep the wound clean - for cuts, rinse thoroughly with water. Wrap gently around the edges with a soap washcloth or a cloth dabbed with hydrogen peroxide or iodine. There's no advantage of washing inside or pouring anything but pouring water on them. Rinse scrapes thoroughly too. I need be, gentle wash in and around the abrasion to remove embedded dirt or debris.
3.) Apply anti-biotic Ointment - after you clean the wound, apply a thin layer of an anti-biotic ointment atop cuts or scrapes to help keep the surface moist. The ointment may help your body's healing ability to close the wound more efficiently. Some people aloe or Vitamin E to cuts. These can irritate skin and are generally not recommended.
4.) Cover the wound - in general, it's better to cover a fresh cut than to leave it exposed. A bandage (any type) can help keep harmful bacteria out. Change the bandage at least once a day or whenever it comes wet and dirty.

When to See a Doctor?
Get to a doctor or emergency room if:

1.) A cut is severe (1/8 inch or deeper), gaping or jagged-edged.
2.) A severe cut is over a joint.
3.) A severe cut is in a place where you want to minimize scar formation.
4.) Debris or foreign matter is embedded.
5.) A scrape is large (the size of your palm or larger) or deep.
6.) It's a puncture wound.
7.) The wound occurred in severely contaminated environment.
8.) It's more than five to ten years since you have been tetanus shot

Treat severe cuts and scrapes the same as you would in minor wounds, but seek medical care quickly. The longer you wait, the greater possibility of infection.

How to care for puncture wounds?
- puncture wound such as stepping on a nail - doesn't usually result in excessive bleeding. Often, in fact, little blood will flow and the wound seems to close almost instantly. But these feature don't mean treatment is unnecessary. A puncture wound can be dangerous because of the risk of infection. The object that caused the wound may carry tetanus spores other bacteria, especially if it has been exposed to soil. If you sustain a puncture wound, see doctor to have the wound thoroughly cleaned. As a precaution, you may need a tetanus shot.

Will it Still Stitches?
- stitches are usually necessary if the wound extends deeply into the skin, or if injury is to an area wherein scarring is a concern. If stitches are necessary, the doctor will likely numb the area first. Your doctor may also recommend a tetanus shot.

Follow-up Care:
- your doctor may recommend over-the-counter pain relievers to relieve discomfort while you cut heals. Sometimes antibiotics are prescribe to decrease risk of infection. If at any time your cuts shows signs of infection - swelling, tenderness, inflammation, or discharge - contact your doctor.

Will it Leave a Scar?
- no matter how you treat them, most deep wounds that penetrate beyond first layer of the skin form a scar when healed. Even superficial wounds can form a scar in infection or re-injury occurs. With proper care, however, you can help keep scarring and infection to a minimum.

Teacher... Doctor... Farmer...

Choosing career for happiness...

High school graduation is just around the corner, and you haven no clue yet as to what you're going to do. Should you proceed to college? Should you become a teacher? a doctor? a farmer? or what?

One of your friends decided a long ago apply to college. And then he plans to go to law school. Another friend wants to be kindergarten teacher. Even one of your classmates who was never known for the best grades has already applied for beauty college and plans to become a hairstylist. Your parents and teacher have been asking you . So now you're asking yourself, What are my plans for the future?

Well, don't despair. Here are a few ideas to help you choose lifelong career that will suit your personality and needs, and help you decide.

First, do these three things:
1. Make a list of your likes and dislikes. - the first to do is to ask yourself some questions, such as, "What are my likes and dislikes?, What am I really passionate about? What of activities really excite me?" Make a list of five things you love to do, and then make a list of few things you don't like to do. Here are a few examples. Let's look at your classmates who applied for beauty college. Her list look like this:
a. I love looking through glamor magazines.
b. I love doing people's hair.
c. I love applying makeup and helping people look good and feel good about themselves.

Maybe her "don't like" list would include:
a. I don't like studying science.
b. I don't like outdoor activities.
c. I don't like math.

Now let's look at a few teens and the careers they chose. Kyle always loved playing basketball, baseball, volleyball, and running track. When he sat down to make his list, it became clear that he wanted to something with his life where he could be outdoors playing sports. Kyle also enjoyed helping others discover the fun of playing sports. He decided to study to become a physical education teacher.

Carla was the nurturing type. She loved animals; loved rescuing them and then nursing them back to health. She's known since first year high school that she wanted to become veterinarian when she got to college.

2. Take a college aptitude test. - ask your local college about taking a college aptitude test. It's usually free to those who enroll. For those students who don't enroll, there may be a small fee. The test is fun an will reveal a lot about yourself that you may not have known before. It will place your interest in categories, such as communications, business, clerical, science, sports, the arts, or the like.


"There is nothing caterpillar that tells you how it's going to be a butterfly" - Buckminster Fuller


3. Find a mentor in the fields that you choose. - after you narrow your choices down to a few selections, the next step is to find someone that is already a professional in the field that you have choose. Ask him about the his job. For example you ask some teachers, ask them few questions, don't be afraid. Usually people love to talking about themselves. and what they do.

Just ask yourself, What makes me happy? What would be the one thing I would to do even if I didn't paid for it.? What do I feel I'm really good at?

No matter what may be career you choose, you it to provide not just money to enable you to live more comfortably - you want it to bring happiness to others as well. That would be your ultimate career choice.